i love listening to the train at 1 am

I have never felt so alone in my whole life. I have finally found out, that i am, in fact, a spineless human being who is.......alone. It's sad that i have not yet figured out who i am. actually scratch that, what i meant was, i am not even acquainted with myself. I have learned the past week that the only person you can really truly count on is indeed yourself, and how can i count on someone who i dont know? i mean c'mon i know what kind of personality i have, yes. but i find myself wandering around the depths of my mind trying to make sense of it all. I am a walking, talking contradiction. Thats exactly who/what i am, it just hit me. I tell myself one thing then i go and do the complete opposite. and i have come to the conclusion that nobody can quite understand me, even with their best intentions. I am one of a kind and i dont know if im happy about that haha all i know is that everyday is an opportunity to make a new happy ending. so i'll keep trying until i get it right. Buddha once said, "You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection."